Starkey Rides Again (for the first time)

While it was a bit strange reading things out of order, with character’s future events influencing your reading of what happened to them before instead of the other way around, Colin Bateman’s first outing with reporter Dan Starkey was another excellent and engaging read. While not a book that will change your outlook on life, it very well may make you laugh our loud and keep you turning the pages. Filled with witty bits, gritty bits, drunken bits, tragic bits, sexy bits, this book has just about all you could want. Here is our hero:

When I was thirteen I woke up in the middle of the night and found my brother pissing in my typewriter case. I decided there and then that there must be something wonderful about alcohol. As my artistic interest grew I discovered that many of my heroes had had impassioned affairs with what my old da referred to as the devil's vomit: Brendan Behan, Dylan Thomas, George Best, Pete Townshend. It had not adversely affected any of them, with the exception of the first two, whom it killed

It was the most natural thing in the world for me to hit the pub as soon as I finished lunch. My embarrassment with the chopsticks needed diluting.

In this book, Dan has a bit of an affair with Margaret, a geology student, which gets him kicked out of his house. Margaret gets murdered and his wife, Patricia, kidnapped and Starkey is left to run from the police, the IRA, the UVF, and everyone in between. With the help from a visiting American reporter, a stripper who dresses as a nun and drives a crappy red Mini but is really a student nurse, a Catholic priest with a Protestant heart (Father Flynn, who plays a key role in “Turbulent Priests”), and a politician who is pretty much a shoe-in to become the next Prime Minister of Northern Ireland, Starkey is able to sort out what is going on, save himself, his wife, and even his country.

The only two things I remembered from the movie were perhaps the two most important bits – what “Divorcing Jack,” the dying words of Margaret and what happens in the end. While the suspense was a bit diluted, there was enough going on that kept me reading to find out how Dan would solve the mystery and how things would work out in the end. So, I repeat my earlier sentiments. Looking for a good, but not too taxing read? Colin Bateman is your man.

Now I just have to get my hands on the second and fourth books in the series ("Of Wee Sweetie Mice and Men" and "Shooting Sean", as I have (read) the third and have the fifth, "A Horse with My Name") which no library in the city seems to have.
rgsc

The most hated of all objects

I hate getting up. I really, really, 99.99% would rather stay in bed. Of course, I know I have to get up. That I can't spend my hole life in bed. But it is so nice and warm there...

My friend, Will, spent the first two weeks or so of his first year at university in bed. His rationale was that it was easier to stay in his room and sleep than deal with life. While seemingly correct, at least in the short run, it certainly is no way to deal with reality and I do not endorse this type of lifestyle.

I know I have to get up out of bed and face the world, but at that moment when the alarm goes off I really would rather just roll over. I tend to direct all my scorn at my alarm clock. "I hate you and your noise," I think and possibly mumble. I do all the things that one shouldn't do when attempting to wake up - especially hit the snooze button. Perhaps I could use a Clocky. Perhaps that would help the cause.

On Thursday I went to the Garden City for work. It seems almost inevitable that I forget something when I go away for any length of time. Hopefully it is something unimportant or that can be done without. Even though I reminded myself to pack my alarm clock, in my early morning rush to get my shit together and get out the door I forgot it. No big deal, there will be a clock in the room I am staying in, right? All too right. The clock there was the dreaded, windup type - you know, with the bells and no snooze. I despise these clocks.



They are exceptionally effective at what they do, granted. I stopped that ringing lickety-split. And while I felt I could have used a snooze button for a few more blissful minutes in bed I got out and got ready. My real issue was the ticking. All night:
tickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktickticktick

How on earth do people live with these things? It is enough to drive a person mad. I don't think I would have made it though the night without my tape-player and headphones. When I woke up in the middle of the night I would have to flip the tape because I don't think I would have been able to get to sleep without the Smashing Pumpkins drowning out the sound of the clock. As much as I dislike my clock, I loathe this one. I could hear it down the hallway, as I approached the room I was sleeping in. I looked at it from the doorway and cursed its existence.

I survived the two nights with the clock. I guess there are different degrees of alarm clock evilness. Mine is run-of-the-mill evil. I tangled with the diabolical and managed to get away not too much the worse for wear. I am pretty sure that I will not forget my clock next time.
rgsc

Inciting insurrection amongst the rabbits

I didn't even have the change to add it to my "Currently reading" list on the sidebar, but I have finished Turbulent Priests by Colin Bateman. This is the third book starring the intrepid, smart-mouthed, alcoholic, journalist and "international man of inaction" Dan Starkey. I picked the book up off my shelf quickly, not knowing that this is the third book (the first being "Divorcing Jack," which as you can see from the side I am currently reading, but I saw the movie ages ago - which I enjoyed) but the novel certainly stands on its own, although now that I know I imagine there are some references to the earlier novels that would have made some of the relationships a touch clearer.

This book follows Dan to the small Northern Irish island community of Wrathlin (aka Rathlin) where he is investigating reports that the Messiah has been born in the form of a girl named Christine. Naturally, hilarity ensues, but it is a dark humour of the fiercest kind. Bateman is exceptionally witty and frequently busts out some great wordplay; the comedy undercuts the harsh realities of the story without undermining it.

If you are looking for a funny, addictive, quick read - perfect for buses/planes/subways/those days when you don't feel like thinking too hard about anything - I would recommend this book or probably anything else by Bateman (I have also read "The Cycle of Violence", excellent as well, although NOT part of the Dan Starkey series as a number of sites have listed). Oh, and be sure to ignore the blurb on the back of "Turbulent Priests": it makes it sound pretty lame (at least the Harper Collins paperback that I have) and just trust that it is much, much better than the blurb (and this little review, I am sure) make it out to be.

"A Record Entry" and other fun with anagrams

Today I am playing with anagrams (it is actually a work thing, not just a time waster, although it is that too - I am trying to figure out the cryptic meaning behind the name of an old park in Kingston where the hospital was built - rumour has it that the name is an anagram or acrostic or something). I put in my name (first and last) and here are some of the better entries - although there are a bazillion so I didn't read through each and every one of them:
"A record entry," "A rectory nerd," "A cry to render," "Ardency retro," "Traced ornery," and "Ace nerd or try."

For Laura (last name only, too many nonsensical with your full name) - "Tear Spill"
For Mark, no too many - "Ask Mrs. Rum"
For Danielle (first name only)- "Lead Line".

'spose I should get back to it.
rgsc

"Blind but seeing"

After what seems to have been a very long time, I finally finished Jose Saramago's Blindess. This is the first in his cycle of allegorical works (as opposed to his historical novels), which have since been followed by All the Names, The Cave, and, most recently, The Double. In this extraordinary novel, the world's population, we are to believe, has been stricken with a "white blindness," the whole world with the exception of one woman, around whom the narrative more or less centres. She is the only witness to the depravations, indignities, and the utter chaos into which the world has plunged after only a short period of time. We follow the "doctor's wife" (none of the characters are given names; they are known only by some distinguishing feature or trait) as she leads a small group of those afflicted early in the pandemic, attempting to ensure that they not only survive the ordeal, but make it through with their humanity intact. Not an easy task.

While some have suggested that it the book can be looked at as a "magic realist" fantasy, along the lines of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, this book is an allegory. While there is a great deal of ambiguity about Saramago's intentions - details about the exact temporal and geographic setting are leftout, the best we can guess is that it takes place in an affluent, Western city, some time in the latter part of the 20th Century - but knowing a little about his personal politics (a card-carrying Communist), which informs his work certainly leads us to a slightly better understanding. In his own words:

Blindness is a metaphor for the blindness of human reason. This is a blindness that permits us, without any conflict, to send a craft to Mars to examine rock formations on that planet while at the same time allowing millions of human beings to starve on this planet. Either we are blind, or we are mad.(Interview in The Paris Review)

Like All the Names (and, as I understand it) other works, this book is not devoid of hope. Even when it seems that there is no hope for humanity, there are those who struggle to keep their dignity, their humanity, and to struggle to help those who are most dependent.

I highly recommend this book. Don't get put off by the stream-of-consciousness style of writing Saramago employs - with the dialogue of multiple parties in the same, large paragraphs and divided only with commas and capital letters. You will quickly get used to it and you will get caught up in the story and in the exceptional way it is told. Then go and read All the Names which, in my opinion, is even better.
rgsc

Seven thoughts in lieu of a full recap

Well, since Mark pretty much gave the lowdown on our weekend of fun in the Big City, with pictures no less, I thought I would just hit the highlights with a few thoughts:

1 - Preparing for the Revolution
As usual, we were very well fed and adequately sauced throughout the weekend. The Boris (and other less revolutionary but equally tasty beverages) was free-flowing and we were treated to Mark's culinary skills with the likes of southwestern tofu sammidges, Toad-in-the-hole (that's right Mark- "Toad" but I will admit that a traditional toad-in-the-hole is made with sausages and yorkshire pudding, the egg/bread one is a bastardized version), and curried hashbrowns, and a wicked salad and "doubles" by Danielle. More good stuff was found at Mt. Everest and the Vegan place on Baldwin and, of course, the local watering hole (with or without toads)

2 - The really big shew
What prompted our latest sojourn to Toronto was the Constantines/"Better"thans show. While we missed the two openers, the two main acts were pretty damn good. The Constantines rocked real hard - very high energy - and I thought put on an excellent show (but they didn't play "Blind Luck" what's with that?). Although the bassist was pretty creepy. Weakerthans were also very good. Not great, perhaps (the show they played in Kingston last summer was, in my humble opinion, better. It did benefit from a guest performance by Sarah Harmer so that may have tipped the scale for me) but certainly nothing to complain about - we had dinner with Foucault and lost the cat in the impending class-war (good thing we had our Boris'!) - so it was a pretty full evening.

3 - Dancing on Bloor, Wu Li style
A memorable event of the night was Mark's exegesis on the nature of matter in the universe while walking back from the concert. He explained how the new physics with the particles and the waves and "the wrathfulness and the vengeance and the bloodrain and the 'hey hey hey it hurts me'" (and so forth), was really only a rehash of Buddhist philosophies. At the most essential level, everything is one and the same, things only exist as they are upon observation and we alter things by observing them (by the way, I remembered the name of the "tree in the courtyard" philosopher - it was Berkeley) etc. While he was not the first to say such things but it is nevertheless interesting. And more than a bit impressive given the hour and the amount of booze he consumed up to that point.

4 - There is some hope for the world (or, why is this stuff not on the market yet?
While not without a number of problems, the Massive Change exhibit had its fair share of interesting and enlightening aspects. All I have to say is that, judged on the products shown in the exhibit, Dean Kamen and his DEKA research outfit are doing stuff right. While the world may be going to hell in a handbasket, with people like him, there is still some hope alive. As far as exhibit design goes, it was uniquely set up, if not always successful. Of particular note was the blank white room that opened up to a room that was chock-full of images: everything but the ceiling, including the floors and benches had images on them. While startling at first, it was a gallery that paid off with attention to the individual bands as you could begin to pick out the meaning of some or all in that 'spectrum'. By and large it was devoid of text - which while it would have interfered with the overall effect, would certainly have helped answer the "what the hell is that" question (I see that the website goes into quite a bit of detail explaining the different imaging technologies, but I wish I had a little more on-site). It is an ambitious, problematic, tiring, but worthwhile exhibit.

5 - I'm OK, You're Karaoke
Alright, that was lame. But the singing wasn't. A cramped, hot room did not do any damage to vocal stylings of the ex-FISers and their significant others. Highlights: rousing renditions of more crap '80s tunes than you can shake a stick at. Lowlights: my version of I am the Walrus. Thankfully only Danielle heard it; although I am sure she will forever be scarred when she hears the words "Goo goo g' joob".

6 - Terrible, just terrible!
Why am I so bad at Metroid? Mark kicked my ass all over the spacestation. Ugh. Freaking awful.

7 - It was a beeee-utiful day in the neighborhood
A sunday walk in Christie Pits, what could be finer?

All in all a very fun (and full) weekend. Thanks yet again to our hosts. Can't wait 'till the next time.
rgsc

A kick ass weekend...

...that kicked my ass.

We had a rocking good time in Toronto, as usual, thanks very much to the efforts of our hosts Danielle and Mark. So thanks guys, you rule.

Gotta go find a rock to crawl under and die for a day or two.

(Late night X 2) + booze^3 + very early monday morning = 1 tired kid.

More later.

rgsc

My So-Called South Park Life

Me as a South Park character 

Have you ever asked yourself "What would my friends and I look like if we were on South Park?" It seems my friends Ian has. You can see the result. Pretty damn sweet if you ask me.

You, too, can star in South Park if you follow the yellow-brick road to The South Park Studio.

Muchos gracias to Ian for passing his creations along.
rgsc

Getting 'Closer'

Last night we rented Mike Nichol's Closer. It is no surprise to that this film was based on a play, and that the play's author Patrick Marber wrote the screenplay, as the dialogue was the focal point and it came out sharp and fast. This is something quite rare as even the most dialogue-intense movies rarely reach this level of sophistication, which is more common on stage than it is in the cineplex.

The film unravels over the space of four years (I think) and details the lives of four characters as they fall in and out of love/bed with each other. The film doesn't condescend to its audience by announcing the temporal shifts - rather it leaves the viewer unaware for a moment or two before the characters reveal whether they are involved with one partner or the other before detailing what transpired in the period between scenes.

This film has been billed as a drama/romance, but don't go into it thinking it that this will be something of a doubled Four Weddings and a Funeral-style romp describing the amours of an English man and an American woman. While the male leads are Brits and female are Yanks in both and both films describe twisting and evolving relationships over a long-ish period of time the similarities end there. There is no redemption or happy ending in 'Closer'. All characters are burned by their interaction and there is no guarantee that anyone lives happily ever after.

Brilliantly scripted and superbly acted by all four leads - particularly Clive Owens who comes across as positively grotesque, but not a caricature, I would have no problem recommending this movie, although I know that not everyone share's my opinion. I really wish, though, that I had seen the play.
rgsc.

Up to my ears in Indie music Pt. 1

I am breaking this post into three parts, posted in reverse order so they would show up in the right order on the page. Please bear with me and ramblings.

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I was unleashed in not one but two record stores today. Needless to say my desire to acquire the best of Canadian Indie rock was overwhelming and I walked out with six of the most ass-kicking records this side of the 49th. I didn't really intend to open my wallet so freely, but you know how these things happen; I am a sucker for a bargain.

It started off at Sunrise where I had to exchange (no returns) a karaoke album I got for my dad for his birthday as he had most of the songs. Sunrise doesn't exactly have an inspiring karaoke selection so I traded in for my own pleasure. Then onto Futureshop for some great, great deals.

First of all, I picked up Metric's ultra-cool "Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?" I have been loving this band since hearing their single "Dead Disco" and over the last little while I downloaded the entire album. While I am a fan of free access to tracks, I also feel strongly that for bands you like, especially indie-Canuk bands, it is vital to go out and support them so that is just what I did. For those of you not familiar with Metric, they can be best described as Succexy. Its catchy 80s influenced, pop with great lyrics, sultry vocals by Emily Haines, who is popping up all over the place as of late, and hook-filled synthesizer lines. My description does not do justice to its greatness.

Next came "Set Yourself on Fire" by Stars. I am not as familiar with this band out of Montreal, but they have been getting a crapload of media attention as of late and what I have heard is outstanding. It is a very lush sound, with complex instrumentation and dual vocals provided by Torquil Cambell and Amy Millan, It is a self-described "sex and death and robots record." A very intense album that is very smart.

These two bands are quite close (James Shaw of Metric played guitar and help produce the Stars' record) and both have close ties to one of the biggest and most celebrated Canadian indie bands: Broken Social Scene.

Up to my ears in Indie music Pt. 2

While BSS was (arguably) the greatest Canadian band of 2001-2003, 2004 is the year of Arcade Fire. Their 2004 release "Funeral" has been universally acclaimed as the most asskicking record of the year by all and sundry, the Arcade Fire have helped put Montreal on the map as the home of all things good and great in music today, including a February 6th, 2005 article in the New York Times declaring Montreal the new Seattle/Athens/Austin/(insert other hot and happening scene here) and, as I just saw today, they got the front cover of Time Magazine (Canadian edition, at least). As Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content so aptly puts it, the "Bombastic, anthemic, fiercely emotional (and yet not emo in the slightest), this is a seriously intense and ecstatic record celebrating the joys and sorrows of life and death." So there you have it. Go out and give this album a listen so you can say, 'I was into them long before they won the Juno' (which I will tomorrow - be seriously dumbfounded if they don't, even though AC Newman, Stars and Feist [see below] and other great bands are also nominated).

My next two purchases can both be described sultry and just a touch sassy. I have just begun digesting these albums so I don't have a great deal to say about them at the moment but I will give you a quick glimpse. First, on the Arts and Crafts label, along with Stars and BSS (she sang and collaborated on BSS's 'You Forgot it in People") is Feist, with her album "Let it Die". As I said, I am pretty new to the album so I will leave it up to the Toronto Star to describe it. They state that on the album, "convention is skewered in a collection of songs that brew elements of disco, jazz, hip hop, torch singing and pop into a seamless whole." An interesting note about Leslie Feist is that she has boycotted McDonald's for the past 15 years and recently turned down their offer to pay her for the rights to use the song "Mushaboom" in a marketing campaign.

Up to my ears in Indie music Pt.3

Second in this set is "Day One" by Sarah Slean. I must say I was a bit apprehensive about this record. I have had her independent release "Blue Parade" for ages. While I enjoyed it, the lyrics are, in my opinion, very low and indistinct and as a result you can't much sense of them. I passed over her first major release "Night Bugs" although I have heard a number of songs on it and thought they were very good and heard many people say good things about it. Anyway, after hearing a bunch of songs off this album on the radio and seeing it for a steal I decided to go ahead and get it. I have not been disappointed, so far. It is much more polished (as might be expected) than Blue Parade. It has the same sensibility at its heart, but is, at times more jazzy, upbeat and (dare I say) commercial. That is not a bad thing in this case as it is turning out to be an exceptionally enjoyable record.

Finally, 'cause everyone needs a little funk in their life, I picked up "Joyful Rebellion" by k-os. Since about 1992, my hip-hop collection has seen a distinct drop (I can probably count the number of rap/hip-hop/r&b albums I own on two hands, if not one) but having heard so many good things about this record and being exposed to quite a few songs and an interview or two on CFRC (and again, because the price was right) I thought I should go out and get this album. So far it has lived up to expectations. Intelligent rhymes, musically excellent with diverse sounds being weaved together, it is an all-round solid recording. And I defy you not to bounce and strut and clap your hands when "Crabbuckit" comes on - I defy you! you can't resist!

That's it. Gonna go rock out for a while.
rgsc